Thursday, March 18, 2010

Sexualized, Depraved, Cheese Products

"A Manhattan chef recently began serving cheese made from his nursing wife's milk."
OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD!  How could a human being eat cheese made from breast milk??? Don't people know that stuff isn't edible?!!  PANIC!!  PAAANIIIC!!  This is outrageous.  This is disgusting.  This is unnatural.  We should outlaw it.*  What else can be done to protect God fearing, righteous folks from having such sexualized, depraved, cheese products inflicted upon them?  Obviously, nothing.

Oh, wait.  That's right.  Human babies drink breast milk - sometimes exclusively.  In fact, breast milk is, in all actuality, a nutritious substance produced by humans for perfect human nourishment.  Most of us have probably consumed it ourselves, at some point in our lives.  I mean, when you take a moment to really consider the issue, isn't it a heck of a lot weirder for us to be consuming milk products that have the makeup and protein content specific to developing baby cows?  And we wonder how we got to be so gosh darned obese in this country.  Some of us even look like...well...cows.  Odd.

 Wicked Cheese

Of course, this raises interesting issues, from a feminist perspective, given feminists' valid concerns regarding the animalization of women and the feminization of animals.  We can't very well harness women to industrialized milking machines can we?  Only lowly animals deserve that sort of treatment.  Women are already expected to do more than their fair share of child rearing and domestic chores.  Now, we expect them to feed us from their very teets?  That simply won't do. 

On the other hand (teet?), we are mammals. If a woman is producing extra milk in this terrible economy and she decides to sell the excess, shouldn't that be her prerogative?   Who exactly are we to ban women from engaging in a viable financial pursuit?  Especially a new mother - I'd expect new mothers need the cash even more than the rest of us do.  America is a free country, after all.

If you want to read Iron Chef Daniel Angerer's blog regarding this "daring" take on cheese, you can here.

Om shanti.

*Yes, the New York Health Department did recently take this very action, as apparently "cheese made from breast milk is not for public consumption."